Hope and Fear
by HappyTex
Summary: When their daughter Nora's powers collide and puts her life in danger, Barry and Caitlin must figure a way to not only save her, but heal old wounds. (Three-parter) - I own nothing; just having some fictional fun.
1. Chapter 1

Barry is the fastest man alive, but right now, behind the glass his speed was useless.

Less than three minutes ago he was patrolling Central City when he heard Caitlin scream over the comm link.

He found his wife crouched on the floor over their daughter Nora, who was struggling to breathe. Even with his suit and gloves on she felt cold and was pale. He scooped her up, transferring her to the lonely bed in the infirmary.

Nora held his hand tight, her usually bright green eyes panicked. "Baby, we're going to fix this." As she squeezed his hand, he gave her a smile. He wished he could offer more, but it was taking all of his strength to keep from crying.

Caitlin rushed over a few moments later, bringing her diagnostic tools. With a nod from her, Barry stepped off to the side, giving his gifted wife the space to do what she was placed on this Earth to do - heal.

His green eyes honed in on Caitlin's movements as she scrambled to stabilize their daughter. It amazed him to see the dichotomy played out in front of him. Her hands were steady as she carefully went through her examination.

Her face, though, was unnaturally tense and he caught her lips trembling.

Barry's heart clenched watching Caitlin hooking up the defibrillator.

Barry kept his feet planted, resisting the urge to hover and instead watched everything behind the glass partition.

He could tell Caitlin was scared and while his instinct was to rush in and offer some words of encouragement, Barry knew that it wasn't what she needed nor wanted at this moment.

With nothing to do and plenty of adrenaline coursing through him, Barry crossed his arms in an attempt to calm himself down.

It failed as he saw Caitlin remove the defibrillator paddles and instead connected the wires to electrodes pulled out from a drawer. These patches were then applied on Nora's heart and behind her neck.

She tapped on the controls and after what seemed like an eternity, Barry saw Nora's small frame relax, her breathing becoming deeper.

His little girl turned her head toward him, tired with watery eyes. He pressed his fingers to his lips and then on the glass and she smiled, the color returning to her lips.

Caitlin went over to the small cabinet and pulled out a pre-filled syringe. She then injected their daughter with what he assumed was a sedative since the girl instantly fell into a peaceful sleep.

Once he got the signal from his wife, Barry flashed over, standing between the most precious people in his life.

His hands gently wiped away the sweat from Nora's forehead while he asked, "What happened Cait?"

It was a simple question, but after she had just been through Caitlin's emotions were just beginning to push back. She paused to gather her thoughts before answering,"Nora's metabolism… somehow… glitched."

"Glitched?" Barry repeated, confused. "How?"

Caitlin chided herself for giving an imprecise answer. If she was going to be of any use to her daughter, she needed to keep it together and stay sharp. "It's complicated; let me clean this up first."

Barry was about to protest, but he could tell from watching her that she needed a few moments to herself, to process things. Caitlin had always been someone who needed some alone time so he pulled up a chair and returned to his daughter's side.

—-

After Caitlin pushed the last cart back to other side of the room, she came over to Nora and Barry. She sat on the bed and watched her little girl sleep. She pulled the thin sheet up a little further, covering the grey and purple shirt Nora insisted on wearing this morning.

The room was quiet for a few minutes when Caitlin's brown eyes finally turned to him as she explained, "It was so sudden."

"What happened?"

"Nora was just sitting right at my desk, drawing and.." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to gain some control of her emotions, but was failing. "It happened too quickly. She just-"

Barry reached out and held her hand. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." Caitlin got up from the bed, talking through her tears. "She could've died."

"But she didn't, thanks to you."

"We were lucky." Her voice was agitated which only irritated her further. "It could happen again. And we might not be around."

Without hesitation he told her, "We'll figure it out."

"Stop!"

Barry was stunned momentarily. "I'm sorry." He offered softly.

"No, I shouldn't have yelled." _Why am I falling apart?!_

He got up and gave her a hug. "It's been a crazy night."

"Barry, I'm scared."

"Me too."

His admission for some reason made her feel better.

"We're figure something out Caitlin."

Her mind began to explore their options and apparently so did Barry's since he asked, "How were you able to help her this time?"

"I rigged the defibrillator to simulate extreme high voltage, like a bolt of lightning."

He pulled back, confused. "Why?"

"It was the only way I could think of to allow her to tap into the speed force."

"Nora is a speedster?" Barry's own sharp mind struggled to see how this was possible. After her difficulties with the previous pregnancies, they had ran tests and all previous results had told them Nora was not a meta.

Caitlin's voice brought him back to the present. "We've always known there was a chance that Nora could have complications because of her DNA."

"But we checked and everything had been fine."

"Not anymore." She took his hand in hers and led him to a station on the other side of the lab. A few taps on the keyboard and she pulled up some files, zooming in on the one labeled with Nora's name.

On the large screen there were side by side scans of a test done last year and the one done tonight.

Barry's years of training allowed him to immediately see a difference between the two. "Her powers are activating."

"Both of them."

"Both?"

Caitlin pointed to some data towards the bottom of the screen. "She doesn't just have your speed, but she has my latent abilities and they are clashing."

His mind and eyes tried to connect the dots, but it wasn't adding up. "But we cured you."

"No," She swallowed, "We fixed my need for….extracting body heat." Even now, years later, it was difficult to talk about that dark period.

It made her sick to think of those she killed just to stay alive. She has been using every day of her life to try and atone for those who suffered.

Caitlin shoved the self-pity and guilt to the back as she focused on the present - on helping Nora and making sure her baby girl never has to go through the nightmare she did.

"I can't lose her Barry."

"We won't."

She really wanted to believe him, to have that faith in the good of the universe.

It was that optimism that allowed him to reach her heart when it was cold (both literally and figuratively) and she was a monster.

It was his unwavering belief in love and redemption that made her take that leap and say 'I do.'

And it was his hope that soothe the pain of losing all of their loved ones - friends, family, and the two little ones they wanted so badly to take home, but couldn't.

Tears streamed down her cheeks, "You of all people should know that sometimes we don't win."

"We can't focus on the bad."

"But there's so much of it. We've been fighting it for years."

Barry's hand tenderly wiped the tears off her face. "We have to stay strong. We'll figure something out, together."

She nodded in acknowledgment and gave him a tiny smile.

If she couldn't share his idealism she can at least put her skepticism to use. "You're right."

She began setting up the computers to run deeper diagnostic scans. "We'll save Nora."

The room was silent, save for the soft hum of the computers working.


	2. Chapter 2

"Cait!"

Her eyes snapped open and she caught her husband standing in front of her, looking panicked. "Barry, what are you doing here?" As her mind was scrambling to sort things out, she saw the mess that was around her station. Embarassed, she began tidying it up.

Over her shoulder she heard Barry finally answer her question. "You didn't come home and I was worried."

Her head jerked back towards him. "Wait, what?"

She picked up her phone (which had been covered by notes she had scribbled down earlier) and saw the time - 3:17am.

How did this happen?

She tried to piece together her evening and she was having a difficult time grasping the last few hours. "I'm so sorry I-"

"Been working too hard and fell asleep." He finished before taking the seat next to her. His voice was softened. "You've been doing a lot of that these last few months."

Her cheeks flushed. "Something like that."

Thankfully her husband didn't seem to want to push the issue. "Ran some more tests?"

She nodded. "Trying to see if reconfiguring some genes could work."

Aware that she hadn't reviewed the latest results, she swiveled her seat and pulled them up. She scanned the data - another failure. "I must've made a mistake somewhere."

Barry placed his hand on her shoulder, his voice low. "I'm sorry Cait."

"It's fine. I just need to backtrack and see what I missed." She began to review her previous test to verify that she followed protocol.

Seeing her so tense, Barry got up behind her. He gently started massaging her shoulders. "You'll figure this out."

"I have to." She exhaled.

Barry glanced over her shoulder to see what she had been up to. He couldn't follow everything, but it was quite clear that Caitlin had been thorough. He had always appreciated her attention to details, but this….

..this was a new level.

As he processed what he caught, he also became aware of the empty wrappers around the lab. While he felt somewhat reassured that his wife was eating, it bothered him to see them still out in view.

It was more evidence that Caitlin was pushing herself.

Every since he had no known her, his wife was meticulous (and somewhat anal) about keeping her surroundings clean and ordered.

He tried to sound casual, but his worry crept out. "How are you?"

Caitlin offered a tiny smile, trying assuage his fears. "I'm good. Thank you."

"Happy to help." With a clear view of the screen, he looked over the tests. "Do you mind if I look over your notes? Maybe I can offer a second opinion."

She shrugged, "Be my guest."

Barry pulled up the last few days and within seconds read everything.

"Could you at least slow down and pretend that this past week of work is due more than a ten second review?" Even though he can't see her face, the lightness in her voice told him she was smiling.

"It's one thing to speed read, another to do the research Dr. Snow." Even though they had been married for almost seven years, Caitlin still used her maiden name professionally. Caitlin felt a need to honor her father with her research.

Her normally calm demeanor gave way to anxiousness. "Did you see anything I missed? Did I make any mistakes on the tests?"

"You are as thorough as ever with the tests. It's the hypothesis I'm worried about."

"Excuse me?"

Barry brought up records of all the tests she'd done in the past three weeks. "All of your tests, revolve around removing or canceling her cyrokinetic abilities."

"Yes."

"All of them." Though he had an idea as to the reason, he asked her, "Why?"

"Are you really going to argue this? We both know how dangerous it can be for her and catastrophic for others if she kept those powers."

"We can try and make them latent. Like you have now."

"Nora's different." Caitlin reminded him. "She has both of our abilities and somehow they are tied together. If I try to suppress one, the other just compensates and it reactivates. If we can splice her DNA, we may be able to remove her abilities."

Barry's mind took time process what she was so casually suggesting. "You and I both know there are several breakthroughs that we'd need to make before we can even attempt it!"

"Which is why I'm here."

The frustration and fear he was carrying made him a bit edgy. "You really think you're going to push through most likely years of developments in a couple of months?"

"You have another idea?"

"Let me see if I can call in some favors and get some second opinions."

"From who?"

"Lyla can tap into the ARGUS network-"

"She's looking into it, but so far no leads."

"Oliver might have a connection."

"I already talked to him."

Barry did a double take. "You did?" The two had carefully kept their distance over the years, only brief and polite chats when Barry was around. It had been years, but Caitlin still carried a grudge for being imprisoned in Lian Yu.

She read his face and saw the disbelief. "It was a… cordial discussion. He had no leads, but he offered to help foot the bill should we need it."

A silence settled in between them for a few minutes. Barry waited for her to relax before suggesting, "Maybe some rest will help."

Her head still down, she sighed, "I'll go straight home after I wrap up one last test."

If he truly believed she would follow through, Barry would've left right then. But Caitlin had been isolating herself. "You've been holed up here for the past couple of months."

Caitlin shook him off and adjusted her chair so she could face him. "I've been home."

"Barely. As soon as Nora is on the bus, you rush over to your lab, working non-stop. You hardly say anything when you are home, always digging into some report or research. Once Nora's in bed, you come here." It amazed him how she was able to function so long without sleep.

"You know why I'm here."

"I know, but Nora hasn't had another incident."

"Yet."

He cut to the chase. "You're withdrawing."

"I'm focusing."

"You're pushing yourself too hard."

She stiffened. "You think I'm reverting?"

"I think you pulling away isn't a good thing."

"I'm fine."

The silence returned, this time tense and agitated.

"I'm saving her." Her voice is low, but there was an underlying current of fear. "If Nora keeps those abilities, they will destroy her."

"What do you mean?"

"Barry, everything that is special and wonderful about her will gone."

"You don't know that."

"I've been there."

"And now you're here." He reminded her.

"How many people died or suffered before that happened?" As soon as her eyes closed, familiar faces came to mind. "How many children are growing up without a mother or father because I murdered them?"

"Cait-"

"Don't Barry. You can't just give a pep talk and make it all better. I did awful, horrible things. I can't undo them and I can't fix them. But what I can do - what I will do - is make sure Nora will never have to live with what I have to live with. She deserves better and she's going to get it."

Barry exhaled, caught off guard. He feebly tried to change the conversation. "How about we grab some pizza at Luigi's and hash out some ideas?"

"Pizza? How can you think of food when-"

A thought flashed. "Wait, that's it."

Her mind rapidly started forming connections and within a few moments a concept took shape. She logged back into the computer besides them. Like pianist inspired, her fingers flew over the keys. Instead of music, equations were coming on the screen.

Barry blinked, unable to see what is apparently clear in his wife's mind. "What is?"

His voice pulled Caitlin from her thoughts. "Ronnie."

Seeing her husband's confused, she explained her line of thinking. "We used to grab pizza when he was stuck. It helped me to unwind."

"So yo want to eat?"

"No. Not the food. Ronnie. I think the firestorm matrix might be the key."

"How so?"

"The matrix allowed two to fuse into one cohesive unit." She showed him the results of her preliminary calculations. "If we can modify the matrix we could allow both the cold and speed force to work together."

"And Nora would be okay."

Though there were so much ahead of them, she felt hope creeping up. "I think so."


	3. Chapter 3

_Thanks for your patience!_

"Mama, what's that?"

"This is an electrode."

"What's it do?"

"In this case, it'll help me check on you while we use the matrix."

"What's a matrix?"

Barry's mouth turned upward. With the exception of having his bright green eyes and the need to think out loud, Nora was a miniature version her mother - wavy brown hair, wide smile, and a curious mind.

She was just about to turn six, but she could be quite a handful in the classroom.

When they met Nora's teacher for quarterly review, Ms. Robinson told them how their daughter peppered her with so many questions about the periodic table and elements, she had to create a separate project to satisfy her inquisitive nature.

Thankfully, the older woman saw the girl's interest as an asset, not a liability like some of the other instructors.

Even so, there were some days Barry and Caitlin struggled to keep up with their daughter.

Like now.

"Will this turn me into a superhero?"

"No, but it will you feel better."

"Is it going to hurt?"

"A little, but it'll be over before you know it."

"And this weird belt going to help me feel better?"

"Yes, it will."

"How?"

Caitlin took a few moments to find a way to break down the complex science into a somewhat understandable explanation for her daughter. "This will help your body find a rhythm to balance itself."

"Like music." She began humming a tune, quite content with herself.

"Kind of."

"How?"

"Nora, if you let me set this up first, I'll be happy to explain afterward." She glared at Barry. "Maybe your dad can explain."

Taking the cue, he offered, "Let's say you have two instruments - a piano and a guitar. They can sound wonderful, but only if they play nicely together. This machine will teach your body to do that."

"Cool."

"It is very cool." He laughed. "And your mommy came up with it all by herself."

"That's not true, you helped." A playful smirk appeared on Caitlin's face. "A little."

—

Peeking through the cracked door, Caitlin saw Nora sleeping soundly, her arm wrapped around her favorite teddy bear.

After some tinkering and prototypes, Caitlin had collaborated with ARGUS and been able to reduce the size of the matrix so Nora could wear it as a bracelet.

Barry came behind her, getting a glimpse of their little one. "Eight months today."

Caitlin allowed herself to relax into his arms. "Our little girl is going to be okay."


End file.
